one week after

So I have made it through one week of my life post-Peace Corps. If this were a detox program, I would be in my half-way house now, otherwise known as Roatan, Honduras. I say half-way house because although I am on vacation and physically out of my site, I am still in Central America and here with six other Peace Corps Volunteers (or ex-volunteers), and my friend Merideth from home. Needless to say, life is good. Due to my continued habit of waking up early (ish) in the campo, it's 6:45 right now and I am up sitting by the beach, drinking my coffee and staring out into the blue, blue water, even though I don't actually have to be awake until 8:15. At that hour, we'll start day two of our PADI diver certification course. Roatan is well-known as a cheap, safe, and beautiful place to learn how to dive, which is what brought us here. We thoroughly enjoyed our first dive yesterday, doing somersaults while soaking in all the beauty of the underwater world.

Needless to say, I am starting to finally feel a little more removed from my site. This past week has been so strange. The first couple days in the capital as I finished all my paperwork at the Peace Corps office I still felt just like a normal volunteer, doing normal volunteer things. Wednesday I left for Antigua, Guatemala to meet Merideth. As soon as I left El Salvador, I started being overcome by a series of guilt attacks: something would remind me of someone/some project in my community, I would remember that I was no longer a volunteer/was not going to see that person for another year, if ever again/would never be able to start let alone finish that project, and then feel really, really bad about leaving. People in my community called me on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I honestly became too exhausted from goodbyes and would just ignore the calls. I needed to make some distance between me and the town. I think the best plan is to use this time to get that space, and then when I get back to the U.S. next week call the families I was closest to to remind them that I am still thinking of them and that our relationships are not over.

It's so strange to be here now. I've been looking forward to this trip and this post-Peace Corps moment for so long and I can't believe I actually made it. My friend David and I were joking about how one of the best things about finishing is that they can no longer take it away from you, I am and forever will be a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer. There was always a little doubt in my head that I would actually make it all the way through, just because it's such an incredibly long commitment and anything can happen. But I did, and I'm done!

Soon it will be time to return to the U.S. and try and re-integrate into my old life, and then I will have the very different and very real responsibilities of law school to absorb me. But for now, I will enjoy the beautiful Caribbean Sea and this moment I am in.